Marriage counseling using games to reduce tension

Marriage is one of the most enjoyable but also one of the most painful experiences that people undergo. It carries with it the whiff of romance and eternal bliss, but sometimes you get a pack of thorns instead.

How Do You Ensure Your Marriage Is a Bed of Roses and not Thorns?

One of the major ingredients that a happy marriage needs is a willingness to compromise. But that is much more difficult than it seems. Everyone will agree that they need to compromise, but what happens when the issue is not a simple and tiny one? What then? Who Compromises first? I am sure you must have said to yourself at one point or another that enough is enough. You will no longer be the patsy. You are an independent person and your partner has crossed the line. Maybe.

Maybe your relationship has died and you are just beginning to realize it. Maybe your sentiments are more passionate than romantic. Maybe you no longer love her.

Stop being a fool!

What if I told you that the solution to your marital strife is not divorce. Am I mad?

Look around. How many divorces do you know? Plenty. Me too. But are they really happier off?

What is the first thing that a divorced person does? He or she goes out and starts looking for partners.

Isn't that strange? No. You say that everybody needs somebody to love. Maybe. I say that they had that somebody and they just let them go. So please stop being foolish.

Why not tackle your problems with a simple suggestion? A Game.

Games as a Peace Maker:

Playing brings out the child in us and causes us to express more than we normally would. We also release bottled up frustration and let go of mental thorns in our outbursts of joy and anguish as we win or lose. Games unite people together and therefore I suggest playing together but if you wish one can play against the other. The game turns into a battle but only this time, after its over, you will both feel refreshed from losing all that bottled up pain and anger.

Games to Pick From:

Try picking games that both of you like or at least somewhat active ones. You could even play hide and seek in the house or something else. If you do prefer playing cards, pick a game which does not go on for long and which requires some thinking like hearts, poker, bridge or rummy. Keep score and determine before hand that the loser has to do something for the winner. Chores is not a prize for the winner! If you lose you have to do something that that the other person wants for themselves like give them their favorite massage or cook them their favorite meal.

Conclusion:

Games are a welcome ambrosia to love and will excite you as a couple to disregard all your frustrations and anger and deal only with the good. The anger and frustrations will not magically disappear, but now you can deal with them together calmly and in a good mood.

The negative impact of the weight loss obsession

The media has pushed upon the general public that the thinner you are, the more attractive you are. All manner of media outlets have given people the impression that being larger than a size 0 is a bad thing because it makes you fat, even though realistically, your appearance is a little too similar to that of malnourished African children. We have become trained to see the waif-like figures of fashion models to be the ideal in feminine physical beauty, even though such a form may not really have any benefits in a strictly biological sense. This has had the effect of creating the weight loss pill industry, as well as giving it the backbone it needs to be a feasible avenue of business for pharmaceutical companies eager to make a quick buck or two. However, is being thin really all that the media makes it out to be?

Perhaps the primary concern would be the impact what effect taking a weight loss pill might have on the system. By their very nature, the pills are designed to help a person lose excess weight, typically by burning stored fat or increasing the metabolic rate. However, as testing has shown, a number of the more effective forms of weight loss pill formulas can have terrible side effects on the body. Reports can vary, though some of the more common ones are nausea and occasional cases of vomiting. In some countries, where the standards are a little lax, these pills find a massive market despite the lack of testing on just what potential side effects it might have. Aside from that, a weight loss pill can easily be overdosed by people who are overzealous about losing weight, leading to potentially life-threatening situations.

However, aside from the weight loss pill boom, the media's effort to push people to become thinner has resulted in psychological damage. Even without the media at work, there will always be a segment of the population that would experience social anxiety because of their weight. Due to the emphasis on physical achievement and perfection among students, high school students typically, those who have more weight than the average student often end up being socially scorned. Large-built students who cannot find ways to compensate for their weight through activities such as sports often find themselves socially ostracized by their peers. After all, the media pushes the message “nobody wants to hang out with fat kids” rather strongly. Now, combine that with exposure to mass media, which pushes people to subconsciously dislike being “fat,” and the social anxiety simply gets worse. There are several studies behind the effects and the treatments for bulimia and anorexia, but very few have tackled the psychological issues and the social anxiety behind these eating disorders.

Finally, perhaps the worst effect the media “push” has had is the prevalent obsession with losing weight, even for those who don't need to lose weight. The media has made people consciously relate extremely thin, waif-like figures to beauty. This has had the effect of women adopting all manner of fad diets, weight loss programs, and extreme treatments to attain that “perfect” size 0. This is a far cry from the pre-Raphaelite standard, where a full figure was considered the ideal and a little meat on the bones was not necessarily a bad thing. While the public obsession with health stems from this need to get thinner, the fact that some people are stretching the limits on how thin the human body can get while still remaining healthy is not a good sign.

It is interesting to note that men seem less affected by this than women. There are several possible explanations for this, though there is a distinct lack of overly-idealized male figures in the media, as compared to the female ones. According to some studies, it is generally harder to determine an “ideal” for the male figure, apart from one that appears capable of performing the tasks subconsciously associated with the male gender, than it is for females. There are several likely sociological and evolutionary reasons for this sort of discrimination, but the number of men experiencing the same social pressures as women is increasing.

New poll shatters myths about mom of 2004

The new American mom has emerged. According to the just released "Voice of Mom" Poll, conducted for ClubMom, the free national membership organization for moms, the matriarch of 2004 heads up a strong family, juggles many roles, embraces old-school values and is very much in control of the world around her.

Moms - a group 82 million strong - love the role of motherhood, even though they recognize it is a difficult job that leaves them with little time for themselves.

Family life in America is strong. Nine in 10 mothers say their husbands fully recognize and appreciate the job they do as a mom, and almost half of all dads split the responsibility for raising the kids equally with moms.

Having children strengthens marriages say 69 percent of moms. Nine in 10 hug their children every day, and 62 percent say their family eats dinner together five or more nights a week.

Most mothers feel their primary challenge is teaching values to their children, 42 percent. Education and the economy and jobs are also big concerns, 40 percent and 32 percent respectively.

But motherhood is a hard job say 88 percent of moms. A growing number - 64 percent - work outside the home, and three out of four find it difficult to balance work and family life.

Overall they are happy with their career choices, but if money were no object, only 10 percent would work full time and 42 percent would work part time.

While moms are recognized at home, they think companies could do a better job. Seventy-two percent say companies should offer more discounts, and 92 percent feel companies should adapt their policies to help working moms. Many moms, 44 percent, want more flextime, and a third want more opportunities for convenient and affordable day care.

"We commissioned this poll to take a close look at today's mom - who she is and what matters most to her. We wanted to offer moms the opportunity to be heard and create a benchmark study that we can measure against on an annual basis," said Alexandra Aleskovsky, chief mom officer for ClubMom. "We plan to distribute the findings to Fortune 1000 companies, the president and members of Congress and challenge them to do more for moms."